Beam Africa is the ministry where our church is partnered in South Africa.  Our family spent a month there this past summer.  They run a development centre in a township – perhaps one of the worst townships in Pretoria.   Back in August, thieves broke in and stole all of their computers.   At the end of September, Louis and Erika Lingenfelder, who run the ministry, came to America for a month.  They visited with us here in Colorado as well as others in Michigan and Missouri.   While they were in America, they constantly were getting updates of people trying to break in.   So they were often trying to coordinate with those back in South Africa in terms of beefing up the security.

Wednesday, Erika and Louis flew back home.  On the plane, Erika said she was praying knowing that these thieves were just bent on getting in.  When they arrived, they learned that these thieves succeeded.  Someone had broken in again and this time took everything.  They torn a hole in the roof.  They vandalized and broke all the equipment… including the new alarm system.  All the computers that BEAM uses to train adults and kids in the community were stolen.  They must have had keys to the new safety gates  and simply unlocked them.  That which they couldn’t unlock, they kicked in, stealing the petty cash and going into every office.

As I write this, I am this, I am reminded of pejorative statements I have heard within the last year that implied students today will gravitate toward ministry of service just because its easy.  Implying what they are calling students to do is the real work or a higher calling.

Seeing firsthand the struggles of those who engage daily in trying to help those on the bottom, those thoughts can’t be further from the truth.  While everyone wrestles with spiritual poverty no matter if who you minister to, when you throw in the struggles of human poverty and injustice its overwhelming.   When I worked as a campus director of a ministry, I never worried about being robbed. (Though our ‘Real Life Cafe’ was broken in once and someone stole our coffee pots and my jacket. But I think they ‘broke in’ because we forgot to lock the door.  Not like I had to bar the windows, use electronic fencing and high tech security cameras.) I didn’t really have to change my life much at all.  I can count on my hand the times I personally felt threatened or in danger.  I hardly ever agonized through the night about those I ministered too. (Maybe I should have more.) Certainly the students I worked with had issues they faced but nothing like seeing children grow up in child-parented homes, or people with no hope of finding employment, or women dying of AIDs, or knowing that many kids you minister to every day go without basic needs and do not live in a safe environment.

Wherever God calls us in terms of building His kingdom is valid.  We simply need to be following Him and obeying His call.   But I believe working among those suffering from injustice are involved in the hardest ministry there is.  Maybe not just giving a dollar to a homeless person.  But when someone gives up there life to truly fight for others, to bring the Kingdom of light to those trapped in darkness, its a sacrifice like any other.  A couple of days ago I met with a friend who has chosen to follow the Lord and work to bring about awareness and change in the vile injustice of the human trafficking issue.  Brad sold his home in Boulder.  He left a safe job as a pastor.  Not to mention he now works among an issue that won’t let him sleep at night.  All because God has called him to this ministry of  helping set captives free.

Erika and Louis also stayed up the night they arrived home.  They had to work because of this break-in but also spent time crying out to the Lord.  At one point they asked if they were really busy doing what they should be doing.  Perhaps it wasn’t worth all this.  Maybe they should just walk away from it all, throw in the towel, give up.   But Erika wrote that it was as if the Holy Spirit came and made her forehead as hard as flint.   No.   He had called them to this.  This battle is worth it.  He will make all things new.  His Kingdom will come and His will shall be on earth as it is in Heaven.

Caleb is interesting bible character to me.  He seems to be the kind of guy cut from a different mold.  You might know the story.  When he was 40 he was one of 12 spies sent into Canaan to scope it out.  (Numbers 13 & 14) Like David and Jesus who would come after him, he was from the tribe of Judah.  Actually the expediation was not to be ‘should we take the land’ or ‘can we’ but ‘go and see the land God is giving us’.  As you know there were 10 who saw giants and said ‘no way’ and Caleb alone with Yeshua (Joshua) said ‘let’s go get ‘em… If the LORD is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. Only do not rebel against the LORD. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will swallow them up. Their protection is gone, but the LORD is with us. Do not be afraid of them.‘.

At that the congregation wanted to stone him.

Flash-forward 40 years.  Joshua is promoted to the man and we are reintroduced to Caleb.  Actually its 45 years because after crossing the Jordan, they spend 5 years taking possession.   All the people who said ‘no way’ died.  Joshua and Caleb alone are still around.

So this 85 year old man, goes to Joshua and says ‘give me my land’. Give me the land I scoped out, the one with the giants.  The one promised to me 45 years ago, I still have fight left in me.  I’ve been waiting for this day for 40+ years.  Yeah, the giants are still living in that hill country but with God’s help I can take it.  He’s bigger than they are.”

Bold, brash, full of faith.  Wholehearted devotion.  Not half-hearted.  But he was ‘all in’.

In fact that’s why he was promised this portion.  He followed God wholeheartedly.  He believed when others didn’t.  He believed despite the circumstances.  His faith wasn’t in his ability as a he-man but in God and the promise of His word.

When I look at the giants in the world I get overwhelmed.  In my soul, I say ‘no way’.  Giants that stand in the way of “His Kingdom come, His will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”    And with Kingdom, I am not talking some Christian political utopia.   I am talking about surveying the land and seeing the things on earth that are not like they are in heaven.  His Kindgom is to be in this world but not of this world.

I see giants – pain, grief, suffering, death, extreme poverty, spiritual emptiness, apathy, hatred, war, murder, racism, abuse, human trafficking, injustices…  a lack of worship and honor due our King.

I see things within my own life… sin, self-centeredness, pride, lack of faith, pursuit of things that are temporal, wasting what God has given me, callousness, indifference, impatience…. a lack of genuine worship and honor due my Savior and  King.

I want to follow the Lord my God wholeheartedly.  I want to go after giants to see His Kingdom come.  I want to stand with Yeshua even if its just two standing.  I want to believe not because of what I see but because of who His is.

I want a little of crazy Caleb.

Warning:  If you don’t know, I tend to rant.  The following is not meant to be a bash of any organization or church or fellow believer in Christ.  If it strikes a chord with you – good or bad –  please feel to write me.  I am open to rebuke.  And I realize many in full-time Christian vocational work do not struggle with my thoughts of building some organization/church/ministry, they just love Jesus and want to serve Him.  But for me I know my weaknesses and how I  easily get caught up in ‘doing’ rather than ‘being’.  My flesh desires doing something significant rather than simply following Jesus.

I have picked up a new word.  Actually its not a new word.  But its one I laid  aside for the past 25 years.  I marginalized it.  I considered it ‘good’ but not ‘great’.  It’s ‘ministering’ or ‘ministry’.

You see, 25 years or so I walked into a Campus Crusade meeting at the University of Georgia.  I made the mistake of using ‘ministry’ to describe Crusade.  A kind staff person  pulled me aside and helped me understand the proper vernacular in CCC circles very quickly.  ”We are movement, not a ministry.”  At first, I thought it was just a marketing ploy like: “WDA and Navs now they are fine but they are ministries but we are a Movement.”   And let’s face it movement sounds cooler.

Now movement is not a bad word.  Not at all.  The word is not found anywhere in the bible but its not bad.  Movements change the society.  Think the Civil Rights movement where people were willing to suffer to see change brought to our country so people of every race would enjoy the freedoms of our society.  And that is the root of what CCC wanted to express.  ”We are not just here to sing a few awkward songs and have good snacks, we want to make a difference for Christ that will change the world and that will last…. and have good snacks.” The mantra of CCC is ‘movements everywhere so that everyone will know someone who truly follows Jesus.’   Not bad… because if we truly follow Jesus, truly, the world will be better.

So 25 years ago, I gained my membership card in this movement gig.  Movements went from being just something I said to a passion or… really an obsession – launching movements, managing movements, movements everywhere, working with the right people, training people, moving from ministry to movement, and on and on.  For the last ten years in particular, the best of my energy  has consisted of mobilizing, equipping, sending, coaching younger leaders to launch ‘spiritual movements’ all over the map where none existed.  I studied movements.  I gave talks on movements.  I dreamt of movements.   I woke up each morning thinking about how I was going to help launch movements. (Okay, that’s an exaggeration.) I wrote articles on movement launching.  I almost wrote a book on movements… but writer’s block,  a schedule that was too busy and a lack of talent stood in my way.

A few years ago I started mulling over that mantra.  I had this terrifying thought: “what if after all this movement activity and all the traveling I have done and time away from my family and all the conferences I have lead, what if after all this stuff, the world is not changed?  Or even better?   That people… or more importantly,  that I – Andrew Steven McCullough – will no more be a true follower of Jesus than before?  I remember when I first had that thought and it was like cold water in my face.  I decided right then and there that even though movements were not bad but that they were not the end.   I decided  that I would choose to focus on being a true follower of  Jesus. (I would like to say this thought became a similar obsession but to my chagrin, like I said before,  I slip and slide toward doing what I think is significant over what really counts.  Hard to measure ‘true follower’ on a stats sheet.) But in my heart, I wanted to rediscover the real Jesus and follow Him.  I wanted to help others do the same.  When I coached young leaders on the field, for insistence, I more wanted to help them follow Jesus than just build something.

In this renewed pursuit is where I have rediscovered this word.  It started in Africa a year ago and has increased over the past year.  While working among the poor namong people whose needs were great – physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual, I just wanted to minister.  I wanted to dive in and serve.  I just wanted to be Jesus to them.  In doing so I am starting to rediscover a Jesus I had left.   Maybe a Jesus I never really knew.  I came to understand the One who came to seek and serve in a way I never had.

It turns out  that ministry is not a bad word.  In fact its a good word and how Jesus lived. Duh Andy. Jesus did ministry.  He showed up and ministered to people.  And I am not talking 21st century American church ministry.  Because even using this word may miss the mark as we have a false concept from our own experience. Jesus just ministered.  He minsitered to people in need, people on the bottom, those hurting, those rejected, those in need.  Turns out He actually did stuff that seems contrary to movement launching (or the way we do church) at least in how I had done it and taught people to do it.

So here I am.  I want to just obey Jesus and minister to people in the way He wants me and to and how He wants me to.  After years of sending thousands to launch movements in so many places I can’t even recount…  after agonizing over wheher someone else will come behind them and keep this thing going…   I want to help others to just go and minister – any place, at any time, and in any way God is leading them.   I find a freedom in this.

I want to love Jesus and love others as myself.   (Man, I am so far from this!!!) I want to follow Him.  I want to be a minister of the gospel – the whole gospel.  I want to wake up every day and think of Jesus.  I want to be Jesus to my family, my neighbors, my ‘enemies’, my world.  … Hey that’s sounds pretty significant.

I have been reading the Gospel of Mark and mulling / mediating on some things of late.   It’s not just Mark but other books I have read within the last year or so like The Jesus Way, Hope Lives, The Hole in Our Gospel and reJesus to name a few.   I am kinda of slow so its taken me a while and God using a lot of sources for me to get it.  Perhaps my soul needs to be detoxed.

For most of my adult life, I have lived and ministered off the mentality that to  change the world I need to reach the most significant – college students, leaders, the influencers, those who can effect change.    It’s not that this was bad and all-wrong.  And God has used people who were significant in the world’s eyes in the bible and throughout history.    But subtly (maybe it was just me), the mentality stretched into being ‘reaching leaders’ is the pinnacle.  And if you reach a leader who doesn’t want to reach other leaders, you moved on.

But what about Jesus?  Of all the people He specificaly called / ministered to / sought out, how many would be significant in the world’s eyes?   The Centurian.  Jarius’ daughter.  (Maybe not her but her father) Perhaps Joanna,  the wife of Cuza, the manager of Herod’s household. (again maybe not her at that time in history) Two secret disciples: Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea.   So what?  5 over 3 years.  Perhaps I forgot someone but that’s all I can think of off the top of my head.

So who did He target?  Who got His attention?  His hot hours?  The insignificant.  The poor.  Women. Children.  Blind beggars. Lepers. Diseased people. The lame, the mute, the crippled.  Demon-possessed men, women and children.  Tax-collectors (ostracized by both sides of the fence). Radical zealots. Smelly fishermen.  Women of ill repute.    Whenever Jesus is asked who is the greatest in the Kingdom or how to be great, He answers by saying:  ’a child, a servant, a slave, be like them.’     Not exactly ‘the signifanct’ of the world.    Not exactly the kind of crowd you would build a ministry/movement/church on.    

In Mark 10, there is a story we all know… Jesus encounters a rich young ruler.  I am not even gonna go in to how we quickly dismiss Jesus’ instruction to him or how this is one of only two times when approached with the question of how to be ‘saved’ that Jesus challenges people to a life focused on the least of these.  What has struck me of late is that this guy is the model of how we were told to build our kingdoms ministries.  Look at the dude: he’s young, he’s hip, he’s a leader and to top it all off he’s rich.  Dude could either lead the ministry or better yet… fund it.  He has staff potential all over him.  He’s the man who would want to invest him.   And to top it off, he is coming to ask  how to get  into heaven.  How easy is this.    But Jesus blows it.  He runs him off with some super challenge that no one can do.  And He doesn’t chase the guy down when he walks away.  Just says, “Oh well.  it’s hard for guys like him to make the cut.”

What the heck is going on?   I thought He was building a church?   Jesus would have been fired from most Christian organizations or churches for this insane act.  You can’t go building anything if all you do is run off the influential seekers with some high bar act like selling everything and giving to the poor.

Something else strikes me about this.  This story is found in 3 Gospels and every time, every time, it follows the scene of people bringing their kids to Jesus to be blessed.    In the NIV, it says that when  the disciples rebuked these parents that Jesus was indignant.  Here they were thinking they were doing Jesus a favor by sparing him from menial ministry so He could concentrate on those really important or at least those with real needs.  And yet it was affront to Our Lord.   “Guys don’t you get it.  This is not a waste of time.  These kids are what the Kingdom of God is all about.  It belongs to these precious little ones… vulnerable, dependant, full of faith, innocent. In fact its a prerequisite to be like children if you want any part of my Kingdom.”    Admit it.  We think ministry to kids is second-rate.   At best its a means just a program to best bring in the rich young ruler parents.  Or babysit them while we entertain the parents.  Certainly its not worth being indignant over.  Yeah, Jesus, be indignant over chasing off little kids but then turn around and chase off the guy who could fund the kids program.

So what do I do with this?  I don’t know.  Certainly we need to ask what God is calling us to do and do that.  We can no longer devalue ministry to those at the bottom.  We can’t go on thinking that people are selling out for the easier choice if they work with orphans and the poor like its some easier choice.  Giving your life to serve the poor is way harder than reaching leaders… it cost way more.  And, if we are called to reach those at the top and  if we are not helping them minister to those at the bottom, are we really making true disciples of Christ?

Personally… I have to examine my own life.  ”Lord show me where I run after the significant and ignore the insignificant.  Lord, help me see its not a waste of time.  Remind me that this is how you lived.  Break my heart for the things that break yours.”

You can click here to read our August letter. You can download a copy or red on-line if you prefer.  We highlight our past month in South Africa – mostly from Robin’s POV.

Yesterday afternoon (Sat), Robin, the boys and I piled in the ‘bucky’  (pick-up truck) and drove a few clicks (km) down the road to Roodeplaat Nature Reserve.    It’s really close to Louis & Erika’s where we are staying. 

Fun little drive without the Big 5but also only cost us about $3.  We saw wart hogs, a lot of exotic birds, zebras, spring bok, water bucks (or boks, not sure), and kudu.  At first, we thought there were only art hogs but evidence (dung) said otherwise and sure enough we saw zebra and later  on the other game. 

I figured the game had to be small since there were walking trails but its Africa so you never know.  Robin and I would have loved to walk more but the boys were having none of that.   Then I started walking to get a better few of a herd of zebra.   Jack followed, then Luke.   We most likely could have walked more but I realized I was so excited about scouting game that I had left the keys in the bucky with the door open.   Realizing it could have been a diversary tactic and another zebra was waiting to hijack the bucky and drive to Kruger, I doubled-back.  Sure enough another smaller herd was scoping the bucky out but I outsmarted them.

Robin even drove for the first time in South Africa as she drove home.  All in all a good little time… until we came home and fights broke out among Jack and Drew.  Not sure over what, maybe looked at each other.     Moral – look at game but not your brother.

What an ordeal…

Crocs donated 120 shoes for us to bring to South Africa and give out to the kids.  Orginally it was 250 but the gal we first spoke with got laid-off.  I delegated it to Jeanine who was able to get someone else to help us but the most they could get was 120. 

(This 2nd lady was only a receptionist but when she heard how the promise was made and the order lost and who they were for she took it upon herself to find some.  We could have gotten more but this was all that was in the wharehouse in Colorado.)

So the week before we left, I went to Niwot to get them.  They were nice and even let me join the compnay picnic with free burgers and cake.  Our bags were full so we divvied them out.  Most went in a bag that Cassie brought and the rest went in one of Jeanine’s bags.  Well as I have written earlier all of our groups bags were delayed in London.

Tracking down the bag we learned this last one that was cassie’s was held in customs.  The only time we had to go get it was the day she, Jeanine and 4 others left on the 8th.

So before Cassie checked-in, she and I went to British Air claims department and an Afrikaneer named Steven took us the back way through security to customs.  But Carlos (a Cuban ctizen of RSA) the customs agent, would not give us the bag because I didn’t have BEAM Africa’s tax empt status.  I called Erika who could give it over the phone but Carlos wanted to see it.  Okay he was just doing his job, I thought.  Cassie needed to leave so we couldn’t waited to see if the fax went through.  Steven said he would secure the bag and BA would make sure it was delivered to Erika’s house.  Case solved.   Or so we thought.

The weekend passed as I went to the STINT midyear and no bag was sent.  After about 4 calls to BA, I finally got ahold of Steven.  He said the fax never came through.  I asked Steven, who had my number and Erika’s, why he just didn’t call us with this information and he said he went on holiday. 

So I had to go back to the airport and could only go today.   I went back to BA claims department and they couldn’t find the decalration dentation form.   But another guy an African named Miles helped me and he just brought the form he had went had the detention number..   For 2nd time I went the back way through passport control and to the customs office.  This tiem the agent said we didn’t that proper form and very surly asked why i didn’t have it.  I explained the scenrio of last week and said perhaps Carlos had it.  That led no one as he said there was no way Carlos had it and I don’t know he had it since I left.  Miles went to find Steven while I sat and waited.  He came back.  Steven was at work but no where to be found and no one knew what he did with the form.  Perhaps it was on holiday. 

Miles and I then did what only we could do.  We went to the airport police station to fill a report that the detention slip was missing.  The police never asked why I wasn’t Cassie and were very helpful.  Slip from the principal… uh police in hand, I went a 3rd time through back way through passport control.  They know me now by name.

Miles said, “since you are giving this to help our country, they should just have given you the bag.”   I told him it was spiritual warfare and he agreed.  He is a believer and we had a good talk about the ministry we have been doing both with kids and Sekepe.

The slip from the police plus the tax empt forms from BEam did the trick.  The bag is locked in Erika’s truck I am borrowing (if not stolen as I stopped to do internet).  I think we are gonna wait and give them all out on the 29th.  That’s Jack & Drew’s 4th birthday and the day before we leave.  We are gonna celebrate all the kid’s birthdays and give them presents of Crocs.

Can’t believe that today is the halfway point for our family’s time in South Africa.  All of our team has left.  The STINT midyear is over.  And I have checked off the necessary partnership meetings for CCC - though will meet the Commmunity Director tomorrow and may still meet with other folks.

This window is about our family, meetign with people in the community and deepening our partnership and friendship with Louis and Erika of BEAM Africa.

I choose St. Lucia as a location for the midyear for the 8 STINTers because website said it was 4 hours from Jo’burg and not to mention it had hippos, crocs and the Indian Ocean.

People told us the drive was 8 hours and I thought they just don’t know.  Well 8 hours was too conservative.  The road that looked like an interstate on the map was mostly a two-lane road and often a one-lane due to construction.  Once we sat for 30 minutes waiting for our turn to drive through the construction area.  It took 10 hours.

But we made it.  And had an excellent dinner where we are stating.  The accomdations are excellent.

It’s warm here.  This am we went on a boat ride in the estuary and saw crocs and hippos.  This afternoon I dipped my toes in the Indian Ocean.  And for several hours Robin and I had a great time interacting with the STINTers.  We asked to share their highlight and then what has been the greatest challenge.  It opened up a lot of things.   Pray that we will be able to address some solutions that mostly deal with their ministry scenerios.

Tonight we have a braai (BBQ) and tommorrow a devotion followed by a game drive.  Worth the ten hours in a car with cranky kids.

On Monday Drew asked why a little boy was sitting in my lap at BEAM.  I said, “Maybe he doesn’t have a daddy to hold him and love him like you do.  Drew, can he borrow your daddy?”

Drew answered “yes, he can borrow my daddy.”