Warning: If you don’t know, I tend to rant. The following is not meant to be a bash of any organization or church or fellow believer in Christ. If it strikes a chord with you – good or bad – please feel to write me. I am open to rebuke. And I realize many in full-time Christian vocational work do not struggle with my thoughts of building some organization/church/ministry, they just love Jesus and want to serve Him. But for me I know my weaknesses and how I easily get caught up in ‘doing’ rather than ‘being’. My flesh desires doing something significant rather than simply following Jesus.
I have picked up a new word. Actually its not a new word. But its one I laid aside for the past 25 years. I marginalized it. I considered it ‘good’ but not ‘great’. It’s ‘ministering’ or ‘ministry’.
You see, 25 years or so I walked into a Campus Crusade meeting at the University of Georgia. I made the mistake of using ‘ministry’ to describe Crusade. A kind staff person pulled me aside and helped me understand the proper vernacular in CCC circles very quickly. ”We are movement, not a ministry.” At first, I thought it was just a marketing ploy like: “WDA and Navs now they are fine but they are ministries but we are a Movement.” And let’s face it movement sounds cooler.
Now movement is not a bad word. Not at all. The word is not found anywhere in the bible but its not bad. Movements change the society. Think the Civil Rights movement where people were willing to suffer to see change brought to our country so people of every race would enjoy the freedoms of our society. And that is the root of what CCC wanted to express. ”We are not just here to sing a few awkward songs and have good snacks, we want to make a difference for Christ that will change the world and that will last…. and have good snacks.” The mantra of CCC is ‘movements everywhere so that everyone will know someone who truly follows Jesus.’ Not bad… because if we truly follow Jesus, truly, the world will be better.
So 25 years ago, I gained my membership card in this movement gig. Movements went from being just something I said to a passion or… really an obsession – launching movements, managing movements, movements everywhere, working with the right people, training people, moving from ministry to movement, and on and on. For the last ten years in particular, the best of my energy has consisted of mobilizing, equipping, sending, coaching younger leaders to launch ’spiritual movements’ all over the map where none existed. I studied movements. I gave talks on movements. I dreamt of movements. I woke up each morning thinking about how I was going to help launch movements. (Okay, that’s an exaggeration.) I wrote articles on movement launching. I almost wrote a book on movements… but writer’s block, a schedule that was too busy and a lack of talent stood in my way.
A few years ago I started mulling over that mantra. I had this terrifying thought: “what if after all this movement activity and all the traveling I have done and time away from my family and all the conferences I have lead, what if after all this stuff, the world is not changed? Or even better? That people… or more importantly, that I – Andrew Steven McCullough – will no more be a true follower of Jesus than before? I remember when I first had that thought and it was like cold water in my face. I decided right then and there that even though movements were not bad but that they were not the end. I decided that I would choose to focus on being a true follower of Jesus. (I would like to say this thought became a similar obsession but to my chagrin, like I said before, I slip and slide toward doing what I think is significant over what really counts. Hard to measure ‘true follower’ on a stats sheet.) But in my heart, I wanted to rediscover the real Jesus and follow Him. I wanted to help others do the same. When I coached young leaders on the field, for insistence, I more wanted to help them follow Jesus than just build something.
In this renewed pursuit is where I have rediscovered this word. It started in Africa a year ago and has increased over the past year. While working among the poor namong people whose needs were great – physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual, I just wanted to minister. I wanted to dive in and serve. I just wanted to be Jesus to them. In doing so I am starting to rediscover a Jesus I had left. Maybe a Jesus I never really knew. I came to understand the One who came to seek and serve in a way I never had.
It turns out that ministry is not a bad word. In fact its a good word and how Jesus lived. Duh Andy. Jesus did ministry. He showed up and ministered to people. And I am not talking 21st century American church ministry. Because even using this word may miss the mark as we have a false concept from our own experience. Jesus just ministered. He minsitered to people in need, people on the bottom, those hurting, those rejected, those in need. Turns out He actually did stuff that seems contrary to movement launching (or the way we do church) at least in how I had done it and taught people to do it.
So here I am. I want to just obey Jesus and minister to people in the way He wants me and to and how He wants me to. After years of sending thousands to launch movements in so many places I can’t even recount… after agonizing over wheher someone else will come behind them and keep this thing going… I want to help others to just go and minister – any place, at any time, and in any way God is leading them. I find a freedom in this.
I want to love Jesus and love others as myself. (Man, I am so far from this!!!) I want to follow Him. I want to be a minister of the gospel – the whole gospel. I want to wake up every day and think of Jesus. I want to be Jesus to my family, my neighbors, my ‘enemies’, my world. … Hey that’s sounds pretty significant.