You see each time the food came out for some reason I was gone. By the time I arrived, the food was… gone that is.  (And I could tell it was pleasing to the palate only because Rich was the cook but also because everyone was raving about it.) It was right there, but I couldn’t taste it.  People were having thirds in fact and I had none.

So I waited for the last batch to come from where ever it was being cooked.  I waited and waited.  The crowd peeled off.  Robin went back to our room.  In my dream it was late.. way late.   It wasn’t that I was hungry per se, it was that I felt left out.  I felt like deserved it.  I was stubbornly going to wait.

So then it came – huge bins and bins of food.  Ironically in impatience I had gotten up and lost my place again but this time I was determined to get my food.  I pushed my way back to get the food: huge slabs of some kind of meat BBQ’ed.  I remember even BBQ’ed fish and asparagus and other vegatables.  I had decided to grab my own bin and fill it as high as I could with food saving some for future days at this place not knowing how many days that was or if meals were always inculded.  In fact I determined that it was too late to eat but I was still getting food.  I found some aluminum foil to put over the top and starting carrying this scolding hot tray of food.

But the thing was when these bins came out other people had arrived too.  I was so busy trying to not get left out again that I had not interacted with them at all.  In fact, I was sad as I walked away.  These people were joyous and what I realized who they were.  Some were some Burmese refugee families that I know.  Others were some Africans I have met and other people of color.  One couple that had arrived was one I know whose son has been in the hospital of late.  I think some were even those who had been working to serve and prepare the food.

As I woke up it dawned on me… these were the poor, the sick, the needy, the nations, the people on the bottom.  And I was taking more food that I needed.  They didn’t seem to care though.  They were joyous that there was a feast and that thy had somethign to eat.   I was so caught up into myself that I didn’t interact with them.  I was  worse than those who had earlier taken thirds when I had none.

Yesterday I heard John Ortberg speak to a group of pastors in the Denver area.  Ortberg quoted Dallas Willard and said (I’m paraphrasing from my notes) that we can guage how our soul is by whether we are becoming more or less irritated and more or less discouraged.    That when peace dwells within we are less discouraged and less irritated.

Okay it was just a dream but it was real.  My soul seems like the man I was in the dream – irritated, discouraged.  Not sure why other than I am too preoccupied with myself, my own world, my own needs wants.

I am not enjoying the feast that’s available.  I am not willing to wait.  I am not willing to identify like Christ did with those who really are in need.  I am greedy.  I am a glutton.  I am in need of grace.

I hope to wake up.

Faith > Heb 11:6  ”And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.” This is the one we might most know.  Faith is not only what pleases God but its also a prerequisite. It’s absolutely impossible to please Him minus faith.  I must believe that He is.  Yahweh!  Creator.  Real.  Personable.  Powerful.  All-loving.  All-knowing.  Able.  Present. He is who He says He is.   He, and He alone, is God.

I must also believe that He is rewards those who sincerely seek Him.  Rewards.  Now there is a word skewed by my 21st Century American perspective.  I am reminded by something I read in one of my favorite books: Hope Lives.  The poor have something I don’t.  The poor in this world live in a state of desperation that allows them to more likely live a life of dependant faith.  When I am more keenly aware of need, my own desperation, I am more likely to live by faith.  God is rewarder.  He is good.  He provides.  How can I ignore all of Jesus promises on prayer? He gives.  He is a good Father.  He’s not a Genie at my beck and call.   But He is still God.  He still rewards me when I sincerely seek Him.  And yes, if I read the whole of chapter 11, I know that the rewards are not always given when I want and in the way I want.  But that doesn’t change reality that He is a rewarder of those who sincerely seek Him!

In 2010, may I believe in Him and His character.   May my faith please Him.

Worship > In Heb 12 :28-29, we read, ” Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. For our God is a devouring fire.” Worship pleases God.  Not some self-gratifying-put-on.  Not playing church.  But real worship.  A worship that is based in gratitude.   As I live in a world that is teetering on the brink of destruction, I am receiving an unshakable Kingdom.   Wow!  Therefore, I should worship Him in holy fear, in awe and wonder.   He is a devouring fire.  What an incredible description of God!   He is just.  I  am not worthy to stand in His presence.  And yet He is giving me a Kingdom.  How crazy is that?   I should fall on my knees.  I should be in awe of Him.  I should live in awe of Him.  How do I have this life?  How could He bless me so?  How could He love me so?  How could He forgive me?  Who am I?  How does He even know my name?  I am not worthy.  He is.

In 2010, may I live in awe of Him and His goodness.  May I respond out of gratitude.  May my worship please Him.

Service > “And don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God”.  – Heb 13:16 Sharing with those in need both in word and deed.  Do I do good by the way I live and interact with my fellowman?   Do I share with those who don’t have the blessing I have?  Or do I horde and just spend on my own foolish pleasures?   Am I greedy with the grace and goodness given to me like I earned it? Do I see Jesus in others?   Do I please God through sacrificing for others?

While completling this passage, the words of Shaun Groves’ song “Jesus” from the Twilight album rank through my earbuds:

When we love the least When we love the weak When we love these We love Jesus

Jesus brings a meal for tips Jesus trying hard to quit Jesus raising two alone Jesus drives a heavy load

Chorus: When we love the least When we love the weak When we love these We love Jesus

Jesus with worn wrinkled hands Jesus sows a patch of land Jesus hides a tattooed arm Jesus keeping dinner warm

Chorus

Jesus waves a foreign flag Jesus wrings a washing rag Jesus leans on prison bars Jesus swinging in my yard

Chorus

In 2010, may I not forget to do good and share with those in need.  May I live sacrificially as unto Jesus and thus please the God sacrificed all for me.

Seay brings insight as a fan into characters like Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Ben, Locke, Hurley, Faraday, Desmond and the like.  Then he shows how their flaws and pains are parallel to those we face as humans. Seay does a good job weaving in stories from the bible without it coming across as a cheap gimmick.

As a fan of the show, I enjoyed the book.  It might be a little hard to follow if you are not aware of ‘Lost’.  (Of course you can just go watch episodes on hulu or read insights on lostpedia and get caught up.) But any fan of the show,whether a seeker of truth or a follower of Christ, would enjoy this book.

I think the only weakness is when he talks about Jacob as Seay has to speculate more on his character as we really got most of what we know about him during the final two episodes of season 5.  (Seay has to go a lot by what Ben has told us and who can trust him?).  Also it feels a little pre-mature since we have a season still to go before the story ends but I guess the publishers realized the appeal might be stronger now.   Unfortunately some of what Seay writes about may be out of date come February.  Perhaps he will update the book for a 2nd release in the Spring/Summer.

By the way, the best part of the book to me is in the last chapter when Seay relates the conclusion of a sermon a friend was supposed to preach until he had a tragic death. Seay’s friend’s thoughts on accepting life as a gift are poetic and powerful.  …Sort of like ‘Lost’.

Outside a village in Africa sat 10 people who were infected with AIDs.

It so happened that Jesus made his way past this village.  Not the Jesus we might imagine or we have created in our own minds. (Plug here to buy my friends book the comes out in 2010.) But the real Savior.  One full of grace and truth.  A man of sorrows and acquainted with much grief.  The healer.  The redeemer.  The Promised One.

These modern day lepers met him but they didn’t get too close.  We know we can’t get AIDs from a touch but they had been outcast and rejected. The were the living dead in a land with no place left to bury them. Yes, there are the anti-viral treatments that can keep these lepers alive but few of them could afford it.  Unless they lived in Botswana where the President has chosen to give it away, they have little hope.

“Unclean” their lives cried out to the world!  And the world in turn avoided them.  We have turned our eyes from this epidemic.  ”What can we do?”,  we ask. ” It’s too painful.  Not my world.”

But to this gentle healer, their voices cried out, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!”.   Mercy.   We need mercy.  You are the Master who can give it.  Don’t turn away from us!

He didn’t.  God gives mercy to whom he chooses but He also gives mercy to all who in their free will ask.  A lovely paradox.

He took a good look at them. (And don’t think He was afraid to get too close. He broke bread with a leper leaning on him. ) He wasn’t afraid of his life being affected by their’s.  He knew shame. He knew rejection.  He – the exact representation of God – choose to share in their humanity.  The Creator became the created.  Not jsut a created.  A man of poverty.  An outcast himself.  The Exalted One became like of the lowest of humanity.   He was the Master but he knew what it was to be ‘a leper’.

“Go, show yourselves to the priests.”, He said. For only a priest could declare them clean.

They went, and while still on their way, became clean. Notice they weren’t clean until they left Jesus’ presence.  They obeyed by faith.  What if they didn’t become clean along the way?  The Priests would declare them unclean.  It was a step of faith.   Funny how things never work the way we think!   Sometimes Jesus healed immediately.  Sometimes He didn’t even have to be there.  Sometimes it was in stages. (“I see but people look like walking trees.”) And here, he didn’t even happen until they left.

One of the lepers, when he realized that he was healed, turned around and came back, shouting his gratitude, glorifying God. He kneeled at Jesus’ feet, so grateful. He couldn’t thank him enough—and he was the homosexual.  Jesus said, “Were not ten healed? Where are the nine? Can none be found to come back and give glory to God except this sinner?” Then he said to him, “Get up. On your way. Your faith has healed and saved you.”

That word ’saved’ in the Greek is the same word in Ephesians 2:8, 9 when Paul writes that we are saved by faith.   To this man, it was a spiritual healing as well as a physical one. The kingdom of God brings healing to the whole man.  The 10 were healed and set free. They all experienced the power of Jesus to change their lives.  The one, the outcast of outcasts, found healing in his soul through gratitude and real worship.

This was no bait and switch work of compassion.  ”Hey nothing’s working, let’s try good deeds.”   No exposure strategy to get to the real kicker.  He would have healed him anyway because He was a man of compassion.  It also wasn’t:  ”shoot I am tired of being chastised as a follower of Christ.  Why don’t I do some good so people will think Jesus is cool.”  But if you want a Samaritan to think, “What the heck I am doing going to a Priest?  Not like they would accept me in a synagogue.  That man, He is the real Priest.  He deserves my praise, my gratitude, my worship.   If that’s a Jesus I could leave all to follow.”    If we want to bring about the Kingdom of God, maybe we need to live and love like the King.  Maybe this limitless love and power of Christ needs to be displayed.

How will I respond?   Do I grieve over this day set aside as World AIDs Day?  Do I see it as a opportunity to live out the Kingdom of God, to live as Christ lived?  Will I look the other way or avoid that village?  Do I look beyond someone being a ‘Samaritarian’ and see with His eyes?

Oh Jesus have mercy on our world!  We acknowledge our promiscious lifestyles have brought about the crises.  We have not lived as you desire.  Oh Master, have mercy.  Many are dying.  Many children. All ones created in your imagine.  Countless grieve over this loss.  This is not how the it should be.  May your Kingdom come and your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Friday night, Luke and I attended the opening night of A Christmas Carol put on by the Colorado Shakespeare Festival.  A good production, I liked how they had actors play multiple characters and adapted it in a way that highlighted Dickens’s literary skills.   I have to admit even though like most I thought I was well familiar with the story, I think I had missed most of the main points before.  Like I think its a play about an old man who hates Christmas and needs to be reacquainted with its true meaning.  That’s partly right because old Scrooge does scoff at Christmas.  But its not just about a man who is not Merry.  I mean we often can take this story to just encourage us to shop and spend more.  That’s Christmas right!  But the real point Dickens is making is that this is a story of a hardened old man whose heart is cold towards the poor.

In Stave 1, Scrooge is visited by two gentlemen raising money for charity.  When one says that ‘many thousands are in want of common necessities; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts’, Scrooge incredulously asks, ‘are there no prisons… and the Union workhouses, are they still in operation?’.    Scrooge says he will give nothing, that he supports the institutions he mentioned before.  When told that these people might die, Scrooge says that he would rather them die and thus decrease the surplus population.   These words will literally come back to haunt him when visited by the Ghost of Christmas Present.

When Marley’s ghost visits Scrooge and explains why he is fettered by chains and how the chain is one he forged himself in life by his own free will.   He explains that he misused his opportunity in life.  Scrooge, applying it to himself as well, says, “But you were a good business man.”

Here’s Marley’s reply:  ”Business!” cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. “Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!”

What will be my Christmas Carol this season?   Do I need to see ghosts in chamber room for my eyes to be opened?  Is mankind my business?  Do I think of Christmas as getting, buying, spending and Black Friday deals?  Do make charity, mercy, forbearance and benevolence my business?  Do I really understand Christmas and why Christ came?  Do I embrace the Great Commandment of loving God and loving others as myself?  Or just the Great Commission (or what I’ve limited it to) and proclamation message?

He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God Bless Us, Every One!

Here’s all you need to know….  I received my copy of Called to Worship back to review back in the early part of the summer.   I started it but set it aside as I got bored and keep trying go back if only so i could review it and get another book to review.  It’s not that it was bad.  In fact i enjoyed his first chapter on Creation and intial call to worship.  But after a while it felt like I was sitting in a Sunday school class in the South.

I stopped at the lessons from Saul when Whatley started to preach:

“Yet people try constantly. ‘Oh I’m a Christian,’ they say. Every weekend, they’re in God’s house, singing enthusiastically  along with the worship leader, perhaps raising their hands, or shouting hallelujah.  Like Saul, they are making a show of worship.  But then these same ‘worshippers’ go home and worship at the feet of internet pornography or sex-filled romance novels.  their TV viewing is uncensored; the movies they watch, abhorrent. Their speech is laced with profanity – and gossip. Alchol hides in their cupboards; lust and evil lurk in their hearts. They are worshippers, all right but of whom/ Themselves.  They are certainly not worshipping God, because they are endeavoring to worship above the law, and that’s idolatry.”

Perhaps he should have added…  “Lord I thank you I am not like those sinners.”

So the book is not bad.  I am sure Dr. Whatley is well meaning and many will benefit from this biblical overview.  Just not what I enjoy or what draws me into worship.  I tend to be drawn to God by authors who are vulnerable and put themselves in the place of one seeking and not having all the answers.

Save your money.

2.  A job doing the things I am passionate about and love.

3.   A cup of coffee from beans that I roasted myself.

4.   A sweet, lovely wife and three little boys with infectious smiles.

5.  A Savior who loves me in spite of my sin and and extends mercy & grace to me.

6.  My MacBook Pro.

7.  A home on a cul-de-sac with open space and an unobstructed view of the mountains behind us.

8. Our ministry partners, 90%+ of whom were able to make the switch to Global Service Associates with us.

9. Our extended family even as we celebrate this Thanksgiving with just the 5 of us.

10.  The opportunity to serve those in need as its more blessed to give than receive.

And I think these folks have something to be thankful for too.  (Thanks to A Non-Quotidian Existence for this.)

See basically, the folks at Community Food Share know that people are more likely to pick a bag to fill with non-perishable items if some cute little cub scout is there.  We didn’t really interact unless somebody came up and asked for a bag or what it was for.  Just stood and smiled for several hours.  Ethan and Kirk were there from 11:30 to 2:00.  Luke and I joined them for the last two hours.  We would been on time but we had a little incident.  

Here’s some of my observations along with a few ’supposes’…

1.  Saw a lot of interesting people come through Wal-mart’s door but only maybe one who qualifies for this.

2.  Most people tend to avoid looking at you. We weren’t soliciting, just standing there.  Maybe they felt guilty.  Perhaps if you turn your eyes to the needs of the poor, they might go away.  I know I’ve done that.  I’d say 90% avoided eye-contact.  Interesting to me.  Convicting.

3. Kids look.  Maybe it’s because two sharp-looking little boys in uniforms were there but I bet 90% or maybe even 100% of the kids looked at the barrel and us standing there.  After what I saw if I was ever with my boys, even if I had given before, I’d a take a bag.  What a great lesson to teach your kids especially in the season of getting…  I mean giving!   Kids notice without making judgments.  We judge.  We are hardened.  We decide if someone really needs ‘a handout’.  I know my kids notice.  First time they saw a homeless person they asked why they didn’t have a home and why they needed food.  I want to be a giving person but I certainly want to practice it in front my kids too and explain why and how blessed we are.  Let them know that many people even in America go hungry and we can help.

3.  The bags are a great idea but perhaps intimating. Maybe some might think, ‘I can’t fill a whole bag’.  Kirk pointed out that if everyone just bought one item they would have gotten tons.

4.  People who had given before tend to let you know. I heard, “I did this yesterday” a lot.    I smiled and thanked them.  I didn’t feel like they were bragging I think they wanted to let us know they cared about what we cared about.

5. People surprise you. One family came back to get two more bags.  After checking out they dropped their bags off.  They had filled 4 grocery bags.  All that was left in their cart was one bag of dog food.  I saw the Wal-mart worker checking their receipt (I thought they only did that at Sam’s) and wondering where all the stuff they had purchased was.

6.  I wrote before that Luke and Ethan get a badge over this but that wasn’t the motivation. When Luke got antsy (who could blame him), I simply said, “Just a little bit longer, bud.  Think of how some family might not go hungry this Thanksgiving because you gave out one more bag.”   He’d straightened up, look toward the front door and hold up his bag for anyone who wanted to give.    In fact, when I posed the idea to Luke last week as I drove him to school, once I explained what the food bank was and how it helped people, he jumped at the opportunity.  I was proud of him.